Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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