good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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