Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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