The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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