so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
