I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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