I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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