quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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