my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
