I love black thongs
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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