it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
