So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
