google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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