I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
