you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
