My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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