pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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