I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
