I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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