There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
