White coat. Heels.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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