Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize