I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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