His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
