How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
