why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pants are for mortals
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
