there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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