i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
