she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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