Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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