Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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