I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
