I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
