We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
