Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
