I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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