Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There r osticjed everywhere
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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