ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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