hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize