I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
