so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
