I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
