Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
