i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
