I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
