Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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