it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
