I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
