My hair reeks of homosexuality.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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