Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
