i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
