You're so nebulous sometimes
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
