Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
