If that was your dad, he is hot
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
