omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I need a beard to bite.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
