Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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