that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
